I am an unmarried, 30+ year old, man, with no children. The movie Prom was not made for me. Chances are, if you saw me watching this film in the theater, you’d call the cops. True, it wasn’t intended for me – but even with that, I’d still have to say that this movie is even duller than its title.Prom is sub-standard Disney fluff. The characters are two-dimensional deluded rehashing of standard high school movie tropes. The plot is so standard you’ll think your psychic, and the two things that stuck with me the most effectively were pure product placement.That being said the under 13 female crowd might dig it, but probably less so than Hannah Montana, High School Musical, or even Grease.If you’re a man my age there’s plenty of eye candy here that will get you arrested. If you’re a young woman there’s a dress wearing montage. If you’re a fan of Matchstick Men, Ocean’s Eleven, “Terriers” and “The Shield”, you can feel good knowing that Ted Griffin is also a producer who’ll get a cut of your Prom ticket. Some will probably even enjoy watching Thomas McDonell as he uses his Johnny Depp brand ™ hair, face fuzz, and cheekbones.For the rest of you, there’s not much going on here.It’s not that this movie is shallow (my fear going in). Prom brings up at least two points that are good for kids, “Take the opportunities life presents,” and, “Be honest with yourself.” The problem is that it these lessons march out on screen in the most bland and unchallenging manner possible.You could find these same points in some more entertaining films: Mean Girls, Clueless, Say Anything, Can’t Hardly Wait, Fast Times, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science and even (in what feels like an ironic twist), Not Another Teen Movie.This movie is lots of clichés brought together at a dance. You have a character named “Lloyd” that echoes “Lloyd Dobler”; you have the “bad” kid with a heart of gold who wears a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle; there’s the overprotective dad with the excelling daughter; the hard-ass Principal who’s riding the “bad” kid; and, the couple who might split-up come college. There is in short; Nothing. New. Here.There are a handful of clever lines, and a guy in a blue oxford shirt mugs at the camera in a library scene that I thought was funny. Yet unfortunately, my standouts included products placed.There’s a passing reference to Papa Ginos pizza (Go New England!) where I spent my pre-teen days playing Pac-man and listening to Tiffany. Then there’s a weird “stoner” (it’s Disney, so Not-REALLY-a-stoner) kid named “Rolo.” He eats Rolos.Prom’s effectiveness can be summed up by a chase scene through a high school hallway midway through. As they run, a cover of the tune, “Come On, Let’s Go” from Ritchie “La Bamba” Valens plays. In ’58 the song was edgy tejano flavored rock — here, we have an uninspired cover that literally spells out the action on screen.This movie feels like an uninspired cover song, and I can’t imagine wanting to expose a kid to this when the originals are more entertaining, more challenging, and still out there.
I am an unmarried, 30+ year old, man, with no children. The movie Prom was not made for me. Chances are, if you saw me watching this film in the theater, you’d call the cops. True, it wasn’t intended for me – but even with that, I’d still have to say that this movie is even duller than its title.Prom is sub-standard Disney fluff. The characters are two-dimensional deluded rehashing of standard high school movie tropes. The plot is so standard you’ll think your psychic, and the two things that stuck with me the most effectively were pure product placement.That being said the under 13 female crowd might dig it, but probably less so than Hannah Montana, High School Musical, or even Grease.If you’re a man my age there’s plenty of eye candy here that will get you arrested. If you’re a young woman there’s a dress wearing montage. If you’re a fan of Matchstick Men, Ocean’s Eleven, “Terriers” and “The Shield”, you can feel good knowing that Ted Griffin is also a producer who’ll get a cut of your Prom ticket. Some will probably even enjoy watching Thomas McDonell as he uses his Johnny Depp brand ™ hair, face fuzz, and cheekbones.For the rest of you, there’s not much going on here.It’s not that this movie is shallow (my fear going in). Prom brings up at least two points that are good for kids, “Take the opportunities life presents,” and, “Be honest with yourself.” The problem is that it these lessons march out on screen in the most bland and unchallenging manner possible.You could find these same points in some more entertaining films: Mean Girls, Clueless, Say Anything, Can’t Hardly Wait, Fast Times, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science and even (in what feels like an ironic twist), Not Another Teen Movie.This movie is lots of clichés brought together at a dance. You have a character named “Lloyd” that echoes “Lloyd Dobler”; you have the “bad” kid with a heart of gold who wears a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle; there’s the overprotective dad with the excelling daughter; the hard-ass Principal who’s riding the “bad” kid; and, the couple who might split-up come college. There is in short; Nothing. New. Here.There are a handful of clever lines, and a guy in a blue oxford shirt mugs at the camera in a library scene that I thought was funny. Yet unfortunately, my standouts included products placed.There’s a passing reference to Papa Ginos pizza (Go New England!) where I spent my pre-teen days playing Pac-man and listening to Tiffany. Then there’s a weird “stoner” (it’s Disney, so Not-REALLY-a-stoner) kid named “Rolo.” He eats Rolos.Prom’s effectiveness can be summed up by a chase scene through a high school hallway midway through. As they run, a cover of the tune, “Come On, Let’s Go” from Ritchie “La Bamba” Valens plays. In ’58 the song was edgy tejano flavored rock — here, we have an uninspired cover that literally spells out the action on screen.This movie feels like an uninspired cover song, and I can’t imagine wanting to expose a kid to this when the originals are more entertaining, more challenging, and still out there.
